Our Guard Bird

I will be the first to admit that I am NOT an outside girl! Those of you that know me, know that I will avoid being outside unless I have nothing to do that day! I don't like to sweat. I don't like bugs. I don't like to smell like the great outdoors or recess when I have just taken a shower. I don't like my feet to get dirty (which means I don't like to walk in dirt when wearing flip flops) and I don't like my hands to get dirty either.
That being said, I had decided to go outside (I know...SHOCKA!) and plant some bulbs that a sweet lady at church had given me and pull some weeds (with my tennis shoes and gloves on, of course) and as I walked out the front door I heard a LOUD chirping and screeching and look up to see a "wounded" bird floundering around on the grass. I knew it was "pretending" to be hurt and must have some eggs somewhere in the area so I begin walking toward it.....the entire time it screeches and screams at the top of its little birdy lungs and flops around and charges me several times. Mawsy always said they were called Killdeer. I found the eggs in a neat little nest on the ground in our flower bed.
I got weirded out and let it talk me out of doing any yard work, because I really didn't want to be attacked by our guard bird.
This was about a couple of weeks ago and since that day there have been several humorous things happen with folks coming to our front door. I had ordered several things on the Internet, one with a Fed Ex delivery and one with a USPS and the first one to show up was the USPS delivery guy. I was sitting inside and watched him pull up to the front of the house and get out. He strolled up to the door, not really paying attention to where he was going and as he stepped on the front walkway, the bird when ballistic and started chasing him. He takes off running back into the yard and the bird back off. He takes a second to catch his breath and formulate a game plan. He then takes a running start and darts to the door, tosses the package at the front door (from about 6 feet away) and takes off back out in the yard. I watched from the front window and laughed so hard I cried. Poor USPS guy! LOL!
The second person, Fed Ex guy, came to our house while I was away but I can only imagine that something very similar must have happened. I say this because the package from Fed Ex was sitting in front of the garage door! Haha! All I can say is the Fed Ex persons decision to put the package by the garage (right next to the front path to the front door) kinda made a little bit more sense than chucking the package at the front door while ducking and dodging the scary Guard Bird!
The third occurrence was when my sister and her kids were leaving my house. Apparently my nephew (who is 3) got a little too courageous and ran toward the bird. My niece, Morgan, gave me this account of exactly what happened. Now if you know Morgan, you know that this may be a wee bit fabricated!
Morgan - "NiNi! Did you hear about the bird in your front flower bed attacking Manning?"
Me - "NO! What happened?"
Morgan - "The bird pecked him in the eye!"
Me - "NO WAY! Are you serious?!"
Morgan - "Yah! Manning ran up to the bird and the bird did a backward somersault and flew up and pecked him in the eye!"
Me - "OH MY! Is he okay?!"
Morgan - "Other than he lost an eye, yeah, he is okay. I'm just kidding....yeah, he's fine."

And that was it. Manning was fine but I bet he learned his lesson even if he wasn't chasing the bird on purpose, I bet he will watch for the warning signs of an Attack Bird or Guard Bird! We have a cat that lives across the street from the house and it came over during the winter and killed the three mice that lived under my lawnmower in my garage. He sat under John's truck everynight and would catch the mice when they came out. Now I keep catching him prowling around my front yard at night and I think, by the sound of my Guard Bird's urgent screams, that he is trying to get at the bird or her babies. I have actually been appreciative of the bird for continuing to keep solicitors and salesmen and so forth out of my yard so I scare the cat away when I can. Hopefully she can keep the eggs safe for a few more weeks and then there will be baby "killdeer" running around! They are so adorable when they just hatch. Long skinny legs and a little body scampering around behind their mommy! Just reminds me of the joys of babies and also makes me appreciate spring and the creation of new life!