I have been struggling with what to do with my Crockett. At four years old he should not be so strong headed and so hard to control. When he goes to his church class on Sunday or Wednesday night, they should not come get me from my class and tell me that he is throwing stuff at other kids, the teachers and being all around defiant. When he goes to his Mother's Day Out twice a week, I should not get a call from them saying that he is calling what his teacher wants him to do (or maybe possibly his teacher) stupid and refusing to do what they say. I will NEVER be one of those parents that thinks that it is someone else's fault that my child is acting like a hellion! Although he could be sleepy and need a nap or be itchy cause his eczema is flaring, it is NEVER okay to be like that to an adult or to anyone, for that matter! It falls back on me and my hand, in turn, falls back on him. Nobody makes MAMA look stupid!!
Wednesday night Crockett was brought from his classroom for the second time in about an hour. He has already had a warning so it was time for the second step, spanking. I don't do bare bottom spankings but I have gotten tired of dealing with this disrespect issue and figured this was my last resource. So, without going into detail, after the smack on the bottom and a good talking to, they said they had no problems with him for the rest of the night.
The next day was MDO. He goes from 8am-2pm and by 11am, I had a phone call from the director saying he was yelling at the teacher, falling on the floor and refusing to get up for time out and either called his teacher stupid or what she was asking him to do. INEXCUSABLE!
I told her to give the phone to Crockett and if what I said to him didn't straighten him up, I would come get him. Crockett answers the phone with the sweetest little "Yes, momma?" I had to remind myself of why I was talking to him. I asked him if he remembered me giving him the bare bottom spanking at church the night before and he said, "yes, momma" and then I asked him if he wanted me to come there and give him another one? He said no and I began asking him if various questions. Trying to make it clear that he what he was saying and doing was WRONG. I asked, "Do we throw toys at our friends? he said, NO. Do we call our teachers names? NO! Do we act ugly to our friends? NO! Do we ever say stupid? NO! Do we do what our teacher tells us to? YES! Do we do our school work? YES! Do we be good until mommy comes and picks us up? YES! Then I reminded him that if I had to come up there and get him early that he WOULD get his bare bottom spanking again and he said, "yes, momma, I be good." And that was that. They said they didn't have another problem with him that day.
In between that phone call and picking him up, I began researching reasons for unruly children (besides lack of discipline). I had spoken previously to a friend, Brandy, about different dyes and colors in food and how it effects her son. I figure it's worth a shot to try this new strategy. SO, effective as soon as I get most of the groceries I JUST purchased out of my house (because I can not afford to waste anything), my boys will be on a dye free diet. Crockett can't have most of the things that have red dye in them anyway so I am thinking that this may help. Here are a few things that I have found while researching that might help you know the signs to watch for in your children!
Dyes can cause an outbreak in eczema or an eczema flare up! Multiple posts suggested that if you are keeping the foods from your child that they are allergic to and their eczema is still flaring, it could possibly be due to dyes which are not able to be tested for an allergy.
Many food that children ingest could have these dyes. Candy such as gummy bears, Skittles, Popsicles, ice creams and lollipops all have food dye. There is also food dye in many cheeses, crackers and breads. The key is to read the label! Some labels may just say artificial color and flavors, which is a catch all phrase. Certain medicines could have dyes (Benadryl & some others have a dye free version available). This hits home with me because many times I use benadryl and have used it to clear up an allergic reaction. If my child has an allergy to dyes, I have been forcing one of these allergies into his system. :0( Many lotions and shampoos and soaps have dyes in them. Some children react to topical dyes and others react only when ingested.
Skin - urticaria/angiodema, atopic dermatitis, sweating,itching, flushing
Gastrointestinal - abdominal pain, nausea/vomiting, diarrhea
Respiratory, asthma symptoms, cough, rhinitis
Musculoskeletal - muscle aches, joint aches, fatigue, weakness
Neurologic - behavior and mood changes, attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder, migraine headaches, numbness, Cardiac palpitations, arrhythmias
ADHD like symptoms can result from a food dye allergy, especially to the red dye. Many parents of children diagnosed with ADHD have taken all food colorings out of their children’s diets and seen remarkable improvements in behavior. Studies have shown that there is a firm link between food dyes, allergies and ADHD like behavior. This can be very difficult for children, as schools are prone to seek labeling and perhaps special services, when all they need is a modification in their diet.
Most of these symptoms have effected Crockett. The atopic dermatitis, asthma symptoms, behavior, attention and hyperactivity problems. I am truly hoping that taking these dyes out of his diet will greatly effect his quality of life!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Stranded Loser
At the end of February 2009, I decided to go try out for Biggest Loser in Nashville. It was kind of a last minute thing with very little preparation. I asked my mom and dad to drive me down there and asked my in laws to watch the boys while I was gone. The doors were to open at 8am and I wanted to be sure that I was there at least two hours early so we were on our way at 4am that Saturday morning.
We knew when we left that they were predicting snow for that evening and later in the day but we figured SURELY we would be home by that time! We could not have been more wrong.
When we got to Nashville, it was really really cold and raining heavily. I had my big heavy winter coat and a big umbrella AND a folding chair. The auditions were being held at The Wild horse Saloon downtown and when we got there, around 630-7am, the line was about 300 people long and wound about 5 blocks around the buildings. Let's just say standing in line like that had to show some kind of endurance for those of us out there and they really should pick more people that try out in person if for no other reason than that fact.
It was freezing cold, even with gloves, a scarf and a big coat, so my parents went and parked somewhere for a little while until closer to time for the doors to open. They brought me back some breakfast and a drink and finally by 8am the line started moving. In all fairness, the line moved relatively quickly at first. We moved about 2 blocks and then stopped. It was still a little misty but I could finally put my umbrella and chair up and just wear my hood. That made life a little easier anyway. It was really quite fun sitting around talking to the other people and just learning about them and making fast friends. Mom would come and go from the line and stand in line for me when I had to go potty and just wanted to thaw out a bit.
Finally, around 4:30pm, I got in the door. We were herded in like cattle through the front door, up some steps and made to stand single file between ropes that wound around like rivers on a map through the bar area and around the waiting area and finally ended at a door to the back of the house. Everyone was standing there wondering what to expect when we finally got back to the audition room. You had to have a 4x6 picture of yourself and an application completed in order to get into the holding room. I had been standing in line for 10 hours before I finally got back into the room for my interview. I assumed it would be one on one but it was a group of about 25 or 30 people shoved around a long conference style table. The lady that spoke to us first told us to be loud; be heard! They were looking for people with great personalities so let yours shine through. I didn't have a hard time with that but, by golly, some of those people were down right annoyingly obnoxious. The guy comes in and we have to state our name, age, where we live and where we work. After everyone is through, he asks us questions about things like, how you handle conflict.....basically just questions to get everyone talking so they can see how we interact with each other. You had to SHOUT over each other to be heard or you would be overshadowed. Good grief, some of those people were just shouting and interrupting until finally the instructor had to ask them to give someone else a turn. It was so crazy! And then it was over! 10 hours of standing in line for about 15 minutes of time with these people!
I left there with a feeling of accomplishment for having stood in line all that time and for actually doing something instead of just talking about it but I knew nothing would ever come of it. There were just too many people there.
While I was back in the interview room, it had started snowing. When I finally got out around 5:30pm, I was starving. I hadn't eaten anything since that morning so we stopped in the outskirts of Nashville and grabbed a bite to eat at Blue Coast Burrito. We finally got back on the road around 730 or so. As we drove, the snow got heavier and heavier and the roads got worse and worse. Just outside of Jackson, TN we stopped and got gas, went to the restroom and grabbed a little snack. The snow there was about 6-9 inches and my mom and I were in heaven! In case you didn't know, we LOVE snow!
It was around 915 or so and we were about 20 miles outside of Memphis.....maybe 45 minutes from home and the traffic was moving at a creepy crawly pace. There was ice and snow piled up on the road, as well as off the road. We had to keep slowing down and stopping and starting and finally we got to the point where we were only moving maybe 10 feet every 15-20 minutes. Finally we were at a stand still for about an hour and we didn't know what was going on. The snow was coming down harder and harder and the roads were getting even worse than they already were. The opposing traffic had stopped too so we figured they must have shut down the interstate. Mom, Dad and I got out of the car and talked to the drivers of other cars, including the big rig drivers who informed us that they had indeed shut the interstate down. There was no getting off the interstate either cause we were a LONG way from the next exit and that was an incline and it was closed as well. SO, my mom and I did what every normal person would do in a situation like this. We made the best of it and built a snowman! Yes, at 10 at night! We took pictures and then got back in the car and hunkered down for the night. Thankfully we had just gotten gas and gone to the bathroom so we were all set. We had a small bag of chips and a few candies to snack on. We didn't want to drink much because the thought of wading through that knee deep snow was not something that sounded even the least bit interesting!
I had the entire back of the Explorer to myself and I covered up with my coat and my parents and I talked until we finally fell asleep (well, I did anyway) at about 2am~ish. Because we had filled up, dad was able to turn the car on and off all night and get it nice and warm in the car when it got cold. It actually was not near as horrible as it sounds. Now if I had brought my kids with me, that would have been horrible but thankfully my inlaws volunteered to keep Trey too just before I left. What great inlaws I have!
So, I woke up the next morning at around 9am to my dad saying that the traffic was moving. I was a little stiff but all in all I had rested fairly well! It was slow going for most of the rest of the trip. The first few exits we came to were closed because the off ramps were on an incline and impassable. We finally found a place to stop and go potty, stretch our legs and get a bite to eat. After all was said and done, there was 13 inches of snow and we finally got home on Sunday morning at 1130am.
A few days after we got home, I received a call from Action News 5 and they wanted to do a story on my wacky weekend. Ironically, a year ago today is when that story was on Channel 5 news one of the top news stories for the day! It was even one of the teasers that they did during the evening to peak interest and get people to watch.
That weekend is one that I will remember fondly for the rest of my life. Some people may have looked at that entire experience as a negative and very annoying experience but I did not. I am a person who looks at a situation and realizes that you make it what it is. You can be stranded on the side of the road in over a foot of snow and be angry and mad and still be stranded. OR you can do like I did and get out and enjoy it. Take pictures in the snow, build a snowman, update facebook every few minutes, and crack jokes with the family about the irony of the situation.
Thank you God for the experiences in my life that allow me to appreciate the little things! These turn out to be the defining moments that make you who you are today! Enjoy your life and realize that if you can't change it, make it fun!!
We knew when we left that they were predicting snow for that evening and later in the day but we figured SURELY we would be home by that time! We could not have been more wrong.
When we got to Nashville, it was really really cold and raining heavily. I had my big heavy winter coat and a big umbrella AND a folding chair. The auditions were being held at The Wild horse Saloon downtown and when we got there, around 630-7am, the line was about 300 people long and wound about 5 blocks around the buildings. Let's just say standing in line like that had to show some kind of endurance for those of us out there and they really should pick more people that try out in person if for no other reason than that fact.
It was freezing cold, even with gloves, a scarf and a big coat, so my parents went and parked somewhere for a little while until closer to time for the doors to open. They brought me back some breakfast and a drink and finally by 8am the line started moving. In all fairness, the line moved relatively quickly at first. We moved about 2 blocks and then stopped. It was still a little misty but I could finally put my umbrella and chair up and just wear my hood. That made life a little easier anyway. It was really quite fun sitting around talking to the other people and just learning about them and making fast friends. Mom would come and go from the line and stand in line for me when I had to go potty and just wanted to thaw out a bit.
Finally, around 4:30pm, I got in the door. We were herded in like cattle through the front door, up some steps and made to stand single file between ropes that wound around like rivers on a map through the bar area and around the waiting area and finally ended at a door to the back of the house. Everyone was standing there wondering what to expect when we finally got back to the audition room. You had to have a 4x6 picture of yourself and an application completed in order to get into the holding room. I had been standing in line for 10 hours before I finally got back into the room for my interview. I assumed it would be one on one but it was a group of about 25 or 30 people shoved around a long conference style table. The lady that spoke to us first told us to be loud; be heard! They were looking for people with great personalities so let yours shine through. I didn't have a hard time with that but, by golly, some of those people were down right annoyingly obnoxious. The guy comes in and we have to state our name, age, where we live and where we work. After everyone is through, he asks us questions about things like, how you handle conflict.....basically just questions to get everyone talking so they can see how we interact with each other. You had to SHOUT over each other to be heard or you would be overshadowed. Good grief, some of those people were just shouting and interrupting until finally the instructor had to ask them to give someone else a turn. It was so crazy! And then it was over! 10 hours of standing in line for about 15 minutes of time with these people!
I left there with a feeling of accomplishment for having stood in line all that time and for actually doing something instead of just talking about it but I knew nothing would ever come of it. There were just too many people there.
While I was back in the interview room, it had started snowing. When I finally got out around 5:30pm, I was starving. I hadn't eaten anything since that morning so we stopped in the outskirts of Nashville and grabbed a bite to eat at Blue Coast Burrito. We finally got back on the road around 730 or so. As we drove, the snow got heavier and heavier and the roads got worse and worse. Just outside of Jackson, TN we stopped and got gas, went to the restroom and grabbed a little snack. The snow there was about 6-9 inches and my mom and I were in heaven! In case you didn't know, we LOVE snow!
It was around 915 or so and we were about 20 miles outside of Memphis.....maybe 45 minutes from home and the traffic was moving at a creepy crawly pace. There was ice and snow piled up on the road, as well as off the road. We had to keep slowing down and stopping and starting and finally we got to the point where we were only moving maybe 10 feet every 15-20 minutes. Finally we were at a stand still for about an hour and we didn't know what was going on. The snow was coming down harder and harder and the roads were getting even worse than they already were. The opposing traffic had stopped too so we figured they must have shut down the interstate. Mom, Dad and I got out of the car and talked to the drivers of other cars, including the big rig drivers who informed us that they had indeed shut the interstate down. There was no getting off the interstate either cause we were a LONG way from the next exit and that was an incline and it was closed as well. SO, my mom and I did what every normal person would do in a situation like this. We made the best of it and built a snowman! Yes, at 10 at night! We took pictures and then got back in the car and hunkered down for the night. Thankfully we had just gotten gas and gone to the bathroom so we were all set. We had a small bag of chips and a few candies to snack on. We didn't want to drink much because the thought of wading through that knee deep snow was not something that sounded even the least bit interesting!
I had the entire back of the Explorer to myself and I covered up with my coat and my parents and I talked until we finally fell asleep (well, I did anyway) at about 2am~ish. Because we had filled up, dad was able to turn the car on and off all night and get it nice and warm in the car when it got cold. It actually was not near as horrible as it sounds. Now if I had brought my kids with me, that would have been horrible but thankfully my inlaws volunteered to keep Trey too just before I left. What great inlaws I have!
So, I woke up the next morning at around 9am to my dad saying that the traffic was moving. I was a little stiff but all in all I had rested fairly well! It was slow going for most of the rest of the trip. The first few exits we came to were closed because the off ramps were on an incline and impassable. We finally found a place to stop and go potty, stretch our legs and get a bite to eat. After all was said and done, there was 13 inches of snow and we finally got home on Sunday morning at 1130am.
A few days after we got home, I received a call from Action News 5 and they wanted to do a story on my wacky weekend. Ironically, a year ago today is when that story was on Channel 5 news one of the top news stories for the day! It was even one of the teasers that they did during the evening to peak interest and get people to watch.
That weekend is one that I will remember fondly for the rest of my life. Some people may have looked at that entire experience as a negative and very annoying experience but I did not. I am a person who looks at a situation and realizes that you make it what it is. You can be stranded on the side of the road in over a foot of snow and be angry and mad and still be stranded. OR you can do like I did and get out and enjoy it. Take pictures in the snow, build a snowman, update facebook every few minutes, and crack jokes with the family about the irony of the situation.
Thank you God for the experiences in my life that allow me to appreciate the little things! These turn out to be the defining moments that make you who you are today! Enjoy your life and realize that if you can't change it, make it fun!!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Internet Courage
Hey everyone! This blog might be one to step on toes.......mainly mine......but I wanted to get this out there so everyone can examine themselves and their facebook style, if you will.
I have been on facebook for several years now. Prior to that, I was on myspace for several years and all these sites are the same. They give people the satisfaction of reconnecting with family and friends that they haven't seen in a while. They give an outlet to talk about frusterations and to joys and to share what's going on in their life. They give people a really really cool way to keep friends and family informed and to update them with pictures, stories and such. And it's really easy too! Anyone can do it, wether you are a 10 year old or a 90 year old, you can learn facebook!
I have always loved facebook and the social internet sites. They have always been a fun way to express myself without having to think. I am sure most of you understand where I am coming from. The popularity of these social sites can't just be to reconnect. There must be others that agree with me about not having to think about things or be deep when on facebook. It's like sitting around with your group of friends and talking......but without the feeling that you need to entertain and without the awkward silences. (Although I can't tell you the last time I had an awkward silence in a group of my friends. LOL!)
But there has been a growing trend on facebook and I have heard it called INTERNET COURAGE.
How many times have we done this? You are sitting at your computer and you are trying to figure out what to post as your status. Not really thinking about the implications that can come with your post, you say something like, "The KJV Bible is the ONLY Bible." or "Poor Michael Vick......he shouldn't have gotten so much prison time. It's not like he hurt a person." or "this team totally didn't deserve that win"...............anway, you get the picture. Many times we don't mean them the way they sound. Many times we do. And yet other times we just don't think before we speak.
Next is the commenting on other peoples statuses or posts. How many times have you done THIS? You are reading the statuses of other folks or the comments on other folks statuses and you see something that you don't like or that just doesn't sit well with you. It could be for many reasons.....it could be someone used a derogatory term in their status and that is something that you are passionate about. Or maybe someone said something about President Obama and his liberal views or praised him for something and it infuriated you. Or someone commented on someone elses status and was poking at you or a loved one and you just broke. There are sooo many scenarios. I'll use the same examples as I did above.
BAD EXAMPLE #1:
Bobs Status: The KJV Bible is the ONLY Bible.
comments:
Jim-I don't know if I would go THAT far.
Bob- I definitely would go THAT far and you are STUPID if you think otherwise.
Jessica-WOW.....that was a bit harsh, Bob, don't you think?
Jim-Well, Jessica, consider the source. Bob has very little education and really doesn't even go to church so they probably don't read their Bible anyway.
BAD EXAMPLE #2:
Chris' Status: Poor Michael Vick......he shouldn't have gotten so much prison time. It's not like he hurt a person.
Comments:
Betty-He totally deserved that much prison time.......probably more!!
Chris-Whatever! Although I hate that he was inhumane to animals, they still aren't people and they have no souls and I think that someone who hurts an animal shouldn't get more time than someone that hurts another human being.
***this one would go on for about 80 million comments and believe me, I know!***
I could go on and on with examples but you get the picture. Is it really worth it to cause tension and strife between friends just so you can speak your mind? Maybe those posts could have read like this........
GOOD EXAMPLE #1
Bobs Status: I think that the KJV Bible is the best Bible translation.
Jim-I don't really agree with that. Why do you think that?
Bob gives his reason for saying that and they carry on a civilized conversation. They don't bring up liberal vs. conservative views. They don't talk about education levels. They don't call each other names or seek to anger the other person. The discussion can get heated but the more mature adult should know when to back off and agree to disagree!
The other problem with controversial statuses and updates is that sometimes when you say something, you are joking but tone of voice is impossible to know if you are typing or reading something. I know from experience, even putting LOL or a :0) isn't always gonna tell the other person that you are joking or aren't picking on them. You have to SAY that you were kidding and gauge wether you think that other person is going to be easily offended. It's such a fine line to know when and what to comment that sometimes it's just not worth it. The best thing to do if you have to think that hard about it is probably not to do it at all!
Here is my advice:
When writing a status.....think about it. Use your brain. Will this offend someone? Could this be something that might cause an adverse reaction? Can I handle someone acting adversely to my status and respond with dignity and grace, if they do?
When commenting on a status........think about it. Use your noodle. Do NOT act on impulse!! Will this offend someone? Could I hurt someone? Will I regret saying this right after I post it? Will I be embarrassed to see the person that I am commenting to again because of my reaction?
I know of many times, myself, that I have responded to something someone said and they took it completely the wrong way and blasted me for it! I also know of many times that I have posted or commented on something in a negative way and did it cause I wasn't doing it in person. My INTERNET COURAGE got the best of me. I was hiding behind my computer screen and said things that I NEVER would have said had I been speaking in person. When you do post based on your feeling you are either: a.) a hothead who speaks their mind no matter wether it is in person or not. Or b.) you WISH you had the guts to speak your mind in person but you don't like confrontation so you choose to do it via the internet where you can say what you want without the guilt afterwards of hurting someone's feelings.
I'm not saying that a little healthy discussion is wrong. There have been plenty of "heated" discussion that became learning experiences for me and for the person I was talking to because both of us came in with open minds and not to offend, but to educate each other on how we felt. Neither of us called each other names or degraded each other in any way. We also didn't see eye to eye even in the end but I know it made me feel validated to be able to discuss, like a rational adult, the way I felt about something.
And lastly, forgive and ask for forgiveness! If you have offended someone or think you have offended someone in any way, go to them (wether it be via phone, text, face to face or email) and ask them to forgive you. Swallow your pride and do this! If you are anything like me, which I am sure some of you are, it will eat away at you until you do so. AND when someone comes to you to ask for forgiveness, FORGIVE THEM! Who are we to hold them to a higher standard than our God holds us to? When we ask for forgiveness from our God, it is as far as the east is from the west!!
A few bible verses to remember when playing on facebook:
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Pr. 15:1)
A hot tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel (Pr. 15:18).
When a man's ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him (Pr. 16:7).
Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out (Pr. 17:14).
It is to a man's honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel (Pr. 20:3)
Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful (2 Tim. 2:23-24).
All of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble (1 Pet. 3:8).
A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue (Pr. 11:12).
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves (Rom. 12:10).
Show proper respect to everyone; Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king ( 1 Pet. 2:17).
He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity (Pr. 21:23).
But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken (Mt. 12:36).
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you (Col. 3:13).
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Eph. 4:32).
LOVE YOU ALL!
JEANINE :0)
I have been on facebook for several years now. Prior to that, I was on myspace for several years and all these sites are the same. They give people the satisfaction of reconnecting with family and friends that they haven't seen in a while. They give an outlet to talk about frusterations and to joys and to share what's going on in their life. They give people a really really cool way to keep friends and family informed and to update them with pictures, stories and such. And it's really easy too! Anyone can do it, wether you are a 10 year old or a 90 year old, you can learn facebook!
I have always loved facebook and the social internet sites. They have always been a fun way to express myself without having to think. I am sure most of you understand where I am coming from. The popularity of these social sites can't just be to reconnect. There must be others that agree with me about not having to think about things or be deep when on facebook. It's like sitting around with your group of friends and talking......but without the feeling that you need to entertain and without the awkward silences. (Although I can't tell you the last time I had an awkward silence in a group of my friends. LOL!)
But there has been a growing trend on facebook and I have heard it called INTERNET COURAGE.
How many times have we done this? You are sitting at your computer and you are trying to figure out what to post as your status. Not really thinking about the implications that can come with your post, you say something like, "The KJV Bible is the ONLY Bible." or "Poor Michael Vick......he shouldn't have gotten so much prison time. It's not like he hurt a person." or "this team totally didn't deserve that win"...............anway, you get the picture. Many times we don't mean them the way they sound. Many times we do. And yet other times we just don't think before we speak.
Next is the commenting on other peoples statuses or posts. How many times have you done THIS? You are reading the statuses of other folks or the comments on other folks statuses and you see something that you don't like or that just doesn't sit well with you. It could be for many reasons.....it could be someone used a derogatory term in their status and that is something that you are passionate about. Or maybe someone said something about President Obama and his liberal views or praised him for something and it infuriated you. Or someone commented on someone elses status and was poking at you or a loved one and you just broke. There are sooo many scenarios. I'll use the same examples as I did above.
BAD EXAMPLE #1:
Bobs Status: The KJV Bible is the ONLY Bible.
comments:
Jim-I don't know if I would go THAT far.
Bob- I definitely would go THAT far and you are STUPID if you think otherwise.
Jessica-WOW.....that was a bit harsh, Bob, don't you think?
Jim-Well, Jessica, consider the source. Bob has very little education and really doesn't even go to church so they probably don't read their Bible anyway.
BAD EXAMPLE #2:
Chris' Status: Poor Michael Vick......he shouldn't have gotten so much prison time. It's not like he hurt a person.
Comments:
Betty-He totally deserved that much prison time.......probably more!!
Chris-Whatever! Although I hate that he was inhumane to animals, they still aren't people and they have no souls and I think that someone who hurts an animal shouldn't get more time than someone that hurts another human being.
***this one would go on for about 80 million comments and believe me, I know!***
I could go on and on with examples but you get the picture. Is it really worth it to cause tension and strife between friends just so you can speak your mind? Maybe those posts could have read like this........
GOOD EXAMPLE #1
Bobs Status: I think that the KJV Bible is the best Bible translation.
Jim-I don't really agree with that. Why do you think that?
Bob gives his reason for saying that and they carry on a civilized conversation. They don't bring up liberal vs. conservative views. They don't talk about education levels. They don't call each other names or seek to anger the other person. The discussion can get heated but the more mature adult should know when to back off and agree to disagree!
The other problem with controversial statuses and updates is that sometimes when you say something, you are joking but tone of voice is impossible to know if you are typing or reading something. I know from experience, even putting LOL or a :0) isn't always gonna tell the other person that you are joking or aren't picking on them. You have to SAY that you were kidding and gauge wether you think that other person is going to be easily offended. It's such a fine line to know when and what to comment that sometimes it's just not worth it. The best thing to do if you have to think that hard about it is probably not to do it at all!
Here is my advice:
When writing a status.....think about it. Use your brain. Will this offend someone? Could this be something that might cause an adverse reaction? Can I handle someone acting adversely to my status and respond with dignity and grace, if they do?
When commenting on a status........think about it. Use your noodle. Do NOT act on impulse!! Will this offend someone? Could I hurt someone? Will I regret saying this right after I post it? Will I be embarrassed to see the person that I am commenting to again because of my reaction?
I know of many times, myself, that I have responded to something someone said and they took it completely the wrong way and blasted me for it! I also know of many times that I have posted or commented on something in a negative way and did it cause I wasn't doing it in person. My INTERNET COURAGE got the best of me. I was hiding behind my computer screen and said things that I NEVER would have said had I been speaking in person. When you do post based on your feeling you are either: a.) a hothead who speaks their mind no matter wether it is in person or not. Or b.) you WISH you had the guts to speak your mind in person but you don't like confrontation so you choose to do it via the internet where you can say what you want without the guilt afterwards of hurting someone's feelings.
I'm not saying that a little healthy discussion is wrong. There have been plenty of "heated" discussion that became learning experiences for me and for the person I was talking to because both of us came in with open minds and not to offend, but to educate each other on how we felt. Neither of us called each other names or degraded each other in any way. We also didn't see eye to eye even in the end but I know it made me feel validated to be able to discuss, like a rational adult, the way I felt about something.
And lastly, forgive and ask for forgiveness! If you have offended someone or think you have offended someone in any way, go to them (wether it be via phone, text, face to face or email) and ask them to forgive you. Swallow your pride and do this! If you are anything like me, which I am sure some of you are, it will eat away at you until you do so. AND when someone comes to you to ask for forgiveness, FORGIVE THEM! Who are we to hold them to a higher standard than our God holds us to? When we ask for forgiveness from our God, it is as far as the east is from the west!!
A few bible verses to remember when playing on facebook:
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Pr. 15:1)
A hot tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel (Pr. 15:18).
When a man's ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him (Pr. 16:7).
Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out (Pr. 17:14).
It is to a man's honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel (Pr. 20:3)
Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful (2 Tim. 2:23-24).
All of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble (1 Pet. 3:8).
A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue (Pr. 11:12).
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves (Rom. 12:10).
Show proper respect to everyone; Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king ( 1 Pet. 2:17).
He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity (Pr. 21:23).
But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken (Mt. 12:36).
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you (Col. 3:13).
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Eph. 4:32).
LOVE YOU ALL!
JEANINE :0)
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Back to embarrassment
Because I think this is so funny, I have decided to blog about my husbands most embarrassing moment! Go to the bathroom before you start reading this.
John grew up in Central Church. If you don't know where Central Church was, it was at the corner of Kirby and Winchester. It was shaped like a roulette wheel (or atleast that is what I thought it looked like). It was round and that is what most people remember about it. It now has that big ole redonkulous Statue of Liberty in front of it......if you still don't know where that is, then you probably never will! Anyway, he grew up there. His parents were very involved in church and his uncle was the associate pastor. He and his cousin, Philip (who is the son of the associate pastor uncle) would sit together during church. John's dad sang in the chior and Philips dad was, of course, always on or near the stage so they were told to be quiet and because their parents had full view of the sanctuary from the stage, they were watching them the entire time. This particular Sunday morning John and Philip had been in the balcony at the tip topest row just kinda quietly doing the things kids did.....you know, laying down on the pew drawing or napping or coloring. Well, each Sunday they would sneak out of the sanctuary during the closing prayer and roam the halls until time to go home. This Sunday was no different. First Philip would go out, tip toeing the entire way, so as not to draw any wandering eyes up to their little corner. (Ther were upwards of 2,000 people in attendance on any given Sunday) He would get out safely and then John would follow suite. This particular week Philip successfully descended the stairs from the tip top balcony row and John got up to leave. He made it down about three stairs and tripped and tumbled down the stairs. Reminding you they were praying and how loud balconies are anyway, the thud on each step he hit was radiated across the sanctuary....curplunk, curplunk, curplunk, curplunk.....and CRASH. Once he reached the bottom step he plowed right into the railing at the bottom with a HUGE CRASH! Next thing you know, he popped right up and ran out of the sanctuary with just about every eye searching the balcony to see what had happened.
He successfully forgot about that experience until he reached youth age and one of the girls he was then friends with reminded him of the experience and explained that she was in the chior at the time of the event and that it was SO loud that he could have been tumbling right beside her and it would have been no louder. She told him that even the preacher talked about it later and laughed about it. She said the giggles being surpressed and the shaking sholders in the entire sanctuary told her that everyone else had noticed too!
John grew up in Central Church. If you don't know where Central Church was, it was at the corner of Kirby and Winchester. It was shaped like a roulette wheel (or atleast that is what I thought it looked like). It was round and that is what most people remember about it. It now has that big ole redonkulous Statue of Liberty in front of it......if you still don't know where that is, then you probably never will! Anyway, he grew up there. His parents were very involved in church and his uncle was the associate pastor. He and his cousin, Philip (who is the son of the associate pastor uncle) would sit together during church. John's dad sang in the chior and Philips dad was, of course, always on or near the stage so they were told to be quiet and because their parents had full view of the sanctuary from the stage, they were watching them the entire time. This particular Sunday morning John and Philip had been in the balcony at the tip topest row just kinda quietly doing the things kids did.....you know, laying down on the pew drawing or napping or coloring. Well, each Sunday they would sneak out of the sanctuary during the closing prayer and roam the halls until time to go home. This Sunday was no different. First Philip would go out, tip toeing the entire way, so as not to draw any wandering eyes up to their little corner. (Ther were upwards of 2,000 people in attendance on any given Sunday) He would get out safely and then John would follow suite. This particular week Philip successfully descended the stairs from the tip top balcony row and John got up to leave. He made it down about three stairs and tripped and tumbled down the stairs. Reminding you they were praying and how loud balconies are anyway, the thud on each step he hit was radiated across the sanctuary....curplunk, curplunk, curplunk, curplunk.....and CRASH. Once he reached the bottom step he plowed right into the railing at the bottom with a HUGE CRASH! Next thing you know, he popped right up and ran out of the sanctuary with just about every eye searching the balcony to see what had happened.
He successfully forgot about that experience until he reached youth age and one of the girls he was then friends with reminded him of the experience and explained that she was in the chior at the time of the event and that it was SO loud that he could have been tumbling right beside her and it would have been no louder. She told him that even the preacher talked about it later and laughed about it. She said the giggles being surpressed and the shaking sholders in the entire sanctuary told her that everyone else had noticed too!
Great Things
Playing with children can be so fun and can reduce your stress level by leaps and bounds. One thing that you must remember while you are playing with children with Autism and Developmental Delays is that they play different than other typical children, most of the time.
I was talking to John on the phone on my way home from work and we were discussing the fact that Trey is sometimes harder to play with than Crockett. While he CAN play games and enjoys playing some group games, sometimes he wants to do things that are either repetitive or things that revolve around him instead of games that can be played with multiple players or that require imagination. An example is this.......Crockett and John were playing with swords and Trey wanted to play but didn't really want to play fight with them. John couldn't understand what he wanted him to do or what it was he wanted to "play" and began to get a little frusterated with Trey. I told John that he should indulge Trey sometimes and not always force him to play the way the typical child plays. So what if Trey wants to rotate in a circle and make weird noises as he does! Do it with him. Rotate in a circle, make weird noises and have him slap hands with you as you do it. It makes a "team" game for him that is fun for him and it is also teaching him how to "play" with other kids while he does something HE wants to do. After I reminded John of our conversation of acceptance of Treys quirks, his whole demeanor changed and Treys little games didn't HAVE to make sense to him. Trey LOVED playing this spinning game with daddy and playing it under his own terms and by the end, Crockett was playing it too and we were all giggling at how silly and somehow fun it was!
John and I have discussed this issue before. We want to make sure that Trey always has the chance to express himself in whatever way he wants to at home. We want home to be a place where he can be comfortable....where he is accepted for who and what he is and not forced to be someone he's not. While we still get frusterated and yes, sometimes angry about his little quirks that can be infuriating at times, we remind ourselves that our acceptance of him AS IS is something that will always make him feel comfortable in his own skin and will help him excel in anything he puts his mind to.
Thinking outside of the box and thinking atypically is what leads to new discoveries and to cures for diseases, among other things. Who ever said that a child that was seemingly challenged in some way doesnt have the cure for cancer somewhere in that special brilliant mind of theirs? Or more ironically, what if my Trey grows up to find the link to curing autism and the thing that made him "different" is the very thing that made him see differently enough to find that cure!?
To those of you that have Autistic children, children with disabilities or for those parents who have typical children with interests and quirks that you don't understand..........ACCEPT THEM FOR WHO THEY ARE, HOW THEY LEARN AND WHAT THEY ARE because one day they are going to do great things!! God placed Trey, just the way he is, in our lives and on this earth for a reason and I am CERTAIN that it is to do GREAT things!
I was talking to John on the phone on my way home from work and we were discussing the fact that Trey is sometimes harder to play with than Crockett. While he CAN play games and enjoys playing some group games, sometimes he wants to do things that are either repetitive or things that revolve around him instead of games that can be played with multiple players or that require imagination. An example is this.......Crockett and John were playing with swords and Trey wanted to play but didn't really want to play fight with them. John couldn't understand what he wanted him to do or what it was he wanted to "play" and began to get a little frusterated with Trey. I told John that he should indulge Trey sometimes and not always force him to play the way the typical child plays. So what if Trey wants to rotate in a circle and make weird noises as he does! Do it with him. Rotate in a circle, make weird noises and have him slap hands with you as you do it. It makes a "team" game for him that is fun for him and it is also teaching him how to "play" with other kids while he does something HE wants to do. After I reminded John of our conversation of acceptance of Treys quirks, his whole demeanor changed and Treys little games didn't HAVE to make sense to him. Trey LOVED playing this spinning game with daddy and playing it under his own terms and by the end, Crockett was playing it too and we were all giggling at how silly and somehow fun it was!
John and I have discussed this issue before. We want to make sure that Trey always has the chance to express himself in whatever way he wants to at home. We want home to be a place where he can be comfortable....where he is accepted for who and what he is and not forced to be someone he's not. While we still get frusterated and yes, sometimes angry about his little quirks that can be infuriating at times, we remind ourselves that our acceptance of him AS IS is something that will always make him feel comfortable in his own skin and will help him excel in anything he puts his mind to.
Thinking outside of the box and thinking atypically is what leads to new discoveries and to cures for diseases, among other things. Who ever said that a child that was seemingly challenged in some way doesnt have the cure for cancer somewhere in that special brilliant mind of theirs? Or more ironically, what if my Trey grows up to find the link to curing autism and the thing that made him "different" is the very thing that made him see differently enough to find that cure!?
To those of you that have Autistic children, children with disabilities or for those parents who have typical children with interests and quirks that you don't understand..........ACCEPT THEM FOR WHO THEY ARE, HOW THEY LEARN AND WHAT THEY ARE because one day they are going to do great things!! God placed Trey, just the way he is, in our lives and on this earth for a reason and I am CERTAIN that it is to do GREAT things!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Sorry it's been so long since I've had a post on my blog! Our family has been inundated with sickness this past week or so. First Trey, then me, then Crockett and now finally John. Hopefully we are gonna get over this and it will be a LONG time before we get sick again.
To lighten my mood and make me feel better, the following three stories are my top three most embarrassing moments of my life. They may not seem that embarrassing to you when you are reading them but rest assured that they were VERY VERY traumatic at the time!
Number Three most embarrassing moment:
Number Two:
About 8 years ago or so, John and I were walking through Kroger doing some grocery shopping. We didn't have any kids yet so we always went grocery shopping together as a little date, per say. Anyway, we were walking down the cereal aisle and John was pushing the basket. We both stopped and were focusing more on what looked good to us than on what was going on around us. There weren't many people in Kroger at the time so we just kinda meandered mindlessly back and forth. We kinda spoke to each other off and on but nothing really major. I decided on which cereal I wanted and was holding the box making my way back to the basket. Still eyeing the cereals, so as to make sure that I was getting the one that I wanted most, I walked over to John and patted his bottom and said, "Did you find the one you want baby?" I looked up and there was a complete stranger staring at me! He grinned a sheepish, somewhat embarrassed but somehow pleased smile and said, "Yeah, honey, I think I did!" I don't think I ever told anyone about that because I was so embarrassed! I look back on it today and think it's hilarious and realize that if that same scenario happened today, I would take it in stride, probably adding a taste of sarcasm somewhere in there cause, once agian, that's just how I roll!
And brace yourselves! Here is the number one most embarrassing moment in Jeanine Nichole Hallberg Burnside's life! So far.........
I had lost over 70 lbs during the summer between 8th and 9th grade. I was finally able to wear lots of different style clothes that I had never been able to wear before. My birthday is April 18th and I had just gotten a babydoll dress back when they were popular. Those of you that knew me back then surely remembers this outfit cause I was so proud of it...It was my fave! It was black with short sleeves and big huge yellow sunflowers with green leaves all over it. I had gotten matching tights that were also black with about half dollar size sunflower designs on them. I also had gotten a pair of black babydoll shoes and some quarter size real looking sunflower earrings and matching ponytail holders with big quarter size sunflowers hot glued on them (I wore my hair in little baby pony tails using these). So our youth group was going to a concert at the coliseum and I decided to wear my new outfit. I wanted to look cute for the boys, of course. As we walk to our seat at the coliseum we were very close to the top and if you remember correctly, it had no rails to hold onto and the stairs went STRAIGHT up. Also, remembering I had a dress on, you realize by now that was already a recipe for disaster. On the way up the stairs I trip forward and give a full moon to the people that were following me up the stairs and to 90% of the coliseum too.....do you guys remember how immature middle school and early high school boys can be? Heck, all boys are immature. They teased me a little but I got over that and had a great time and as we were walking to the bus after the concert, we were acting silly, like 9th graders do. We all were doing the Monkee Walk......you know, you drape your arm around the other persons shoulder and then you all put your right foot forward, then bring around your left foot.....go YouTube The Monkee Walk and watch one of the videos...you'll understand. As we began the walk, I somehow got tripped up and stumbled forward but this time I actually fell down and once again, mooned half of Memphis on the way down. Yeah, that's funny....but just wait.
On the way back to church, we stopped at the McDonald's on Stateline for dinner cause it was really the only thing open at that time of night. I keep saying the phrase....once again...but it's the only thing that accurately depicts what's going on. SO.......Once again, being a 9th grade girl and all, we all decided, after we ate, that we would go out on the playground and pile into the ball pit while we were waiting on everyone. BAD BAD DECISION. Definitely the wrong thing to do in a dress! Especially considering how my night had already gone however, I am not the brightest crayon in the box sometimes....not the sharpest tool in the shed either! I climb in the balls and after a few minutes, Summer say, "Jeanine, is your dress ripped?" I looked down and the seam between my chest and the skirt part of the dress was ripped about 6 or 8 inches across and my goods were on display. I pulled it together and began trying to get out without flashing the rest of my junk for others to see when I realized that one of my new sunflower earrings was missing and was most likely gone forever in the ball pit. I had "my girls" look for that while I went inside to our youth director, Bro. Steve, who was one of two adults on this outing and neither was a woman who would have a sewing kit. I asked everyone I knew and also random strangers if they had any safety pins or just push pins.....anything but no one had anything but a stapler......Needless to say, my dress was stapled together and it stayed really well until my parent came and got me. Oh yeah, and my girls found my earring too! That was my most embarrassing night ever! I don't think I will ever top that night. At least I HOPE NOT!
Runner Up:
***On the way to NOLA to visit Andy and Kelly when we first got married, I was driving and I was speeding. I had never been pulled over before and had no idea where to pull over on the interstate or really anywhere. The cop pulled behind me and turned on his lights and I started trying to pull over on the left side of the interstate instead of the right side like a normal person. The cop looked at me like I had three heads when he came to the car and asked me if I really thought I should pull over on the three inch median as opposed to the one the size of three lanes on the other side. I plead ignorance and he let me go but that was still enough to make me feel stupid and embarrassed at the time.
Runner Runner Up:
***This one just happened the other night. I was walking into the movie theater on a date with my awesome hubby and I wasn't watching where I was going and I stepped on a piece of uneven pavement and I fell down. I did a gainer into the pavement. John said I fell so fast that he didn't even process that I was falling until I was already down. Thankfully I caught myself with my hands mostly and a little wiht my knee. I was so embarrassed that I was up almost instantly! It did kinda help that there werent but a handful of people around.
To lighten my mood and make me feel better, the following three stories are my top three most embarrassing moments of my life. They may not seem that embarrassing to you when you are reading them but rest assured that they were VERY VERY traumatic at the time!
Number Three most embarrassing moment:
My sister, Wendy was about 8 months pregnant with my niece Morgan, who will be 16 in June. So, about 16 years ago, my mom and sister and I were in Kmart when it was on Stateline Road (where Burlington is now) and we had been seeking out the specials.....cause that's how we roll.....and as we were leaving me and Wendy began picking on each other. Keep in mind that I was round about 16 and she was round about 19 almost 20 and also keep in mind that she was 8 months pregnant. As we are walking through the parking lot I am in front of her and she decides to kick my foot behind my leg and trip me. I fall to the ground and roll. And I didn't stop rolling until I was under the car that was parked next to ours! The really really really uncool part of the whole thing was: A.) there was someone in that car. B.) there was someone in the car behind that one. C.) there were people all over the parking lot. D.) I looked like an idiot rolling all over the ground. E.) I got my clothes dirty and the main one F.) I couldn't not kick the living C. R. A. P. (and you have to spell that word cause it doesn't sound as bad when you do) out of my sister cause she was flippin 8 month pregnant! Definitely embarassing at the age of 16......you can call me grace.....
Number Two:
About 8 years ago or so, John and I were walking through Kroger doing some grocery shopping. We didn't have any kids yet so we always went grocery shopping together as a little date, per say. Anyway, we were walking down the cereal aisle and John was pushing the basket. We both stopped and were focusing more on what looked good to us than on what was going on around us. There weren't many people in Kroger at the time so we just kinda meandered mindlessly back and forth. We kinda spoke to each other off and on but nothing really major. I decided on which cereal I wanted and was holding the box making my way back to the basket. Still eyeing the cereals, so as to make sure that I was getting the one that I wanted most, I walked over to John and patted his bottom and said, "Did you find the one you want baby?" I looked up and there was a complete stranger staring at me! He grinned a sheepish, somewhat embarrassed but somehow pleased smile and said, "Yeah, honey, I think I did!" I don't think I ever told anyone about that because I was so embarrassed! I look back on it today and think it's hilarious and realize that if that same scenario happened today, I would take it in stride, probably adding a taste of sarcasm somewhere in there cause, once agian, that's just how I roll!
And brace yourselves! Here is the number one most embarrassing moment in Jeanine Nichole Hallberg Burnside's life! So far.........
I had lost over 70 lbs during the summer between 8th and 9th grade. I was finally able to wear lots of different style clothes that I had never been able to wear before. My birthday is April 18th and I had just gotten a babydoll dress back when they were popular. Those of you that knew me back then surely remembers this outfit cause I was so proud of it...It was my fave! It was black with short sleeves and big huge yellow sunflowers with green leaves all over it. I had gotten matching tights that were also black with about half dollar size sunflower designs on them. I also had gotten a pair of black babydoll shoes and some quarter size real looking sunflower earrings and matching ponytail holders with big quarter size sunflowers hot glued on them (I wore my hair in little baby pony tails using these). So our youth group was going to a concert at the coliseum and I decided to wear my new outfit. I wanted to look cute for the boys, of course. As we walk to our seat at the coliseum we were very close to the top and if you remember correctly, it had no rails to hold onto and the stairs went STRAIGHT up. Also, remembering I had a dress on, you realize by now that was already a recipe for disaster. On the way up the stairs I trip forward and give a full moon to the people that were following me up the stairs and to 90% of the coliseum too.....do you guys remember how immature middle school and early high school boys can be? Heck, all boys are immature. They teased me a little but I got over that and had a great time and as we were walking to the bus after the concert, we were acting silly, like 9th graders do. We all were doing the Monkee Walk......you know, you drape your arm around the other persons shoulder and then you all put your right foot forward, then bring around your left foot.....go YouTube The Monkee Walk and watch one of the videos...you'll understand. As we began the walk, I somehow got tripped up and stumbled forward but this time I actually fell down and once again, mooned half of Memphis on the way down. Yeah, that's funny....but just wait.
On the way back to church, we stopped at the McDonald's on Stateline for dinner cause it was really the only thing open at that time of night. I keep saying the phrase....once again...but it's the only thing that accurately depicts what's going on. SO.......Once again, being a 9th grade girl and all, we all decided, after we ate, that we would go out on the playground and pile into the ball pit while we were waiting on everyone. BAD BAD DECISION. Definitely the wrong thing to do in a dress! Especially considering how my night had already gone however, I am not the brightest crayon in the box sometimes....not the sharpest tool in the shed either! I climb in the balls and after a few minutes, Summer say, "Jeanine, is your dress ripped?" I looked down and the seam between my chest and the skirt part of the dress was ripped about 6 or 8 inches across and my goods were on display. I pulled it together and began trying to get out without flashing the rest of my junk for others to see when I realized that one of my new sunflower earrings was missing and was most likely gone forever in the ball pit. I had "my girls" look for that while I went inside to our youth director, Bro. Steve, who was one of two adults on this outing and neither was a woman who would have a sewing kit. I asked everyone I knew and also random strangers if they had any safety pins or just push pins.....anything but no one had anything but a stapler......Needless to say, my dress was stapled together and it stayed really well until my parent came and got me. Oh yeah, and my girls found my earring too! That was my most embarrassing night ever! I don't think I will ever top that night. At least I HOPE NOT!
Runner Up:
***On the way to NOLA to visit Andy and Kelly when we first got married, I was driving and I was speeding. I had never been pulled over before and had no idea where to pull over on the interstate or really anywhere. The cop pulled behind me and turned on his lights and I started trying to pull over on the left side of the interstate instead of the right side like a normal person. The cop looked at me like I had three heads when he came to the car and asked me if I really thought I should pull over on the three inch median as opposed to the one the size of three lanes on the other side. I plead ignorance and he let me go but that was still enough to make me feel stupid and embarrassed at the time.
Runner Runner Up:
***This one just happened the other night. I was walking into the movie theater on a date with my awesome hubby and I wasn't watching where I was going and I stepped on a piece of uneven pavement and I fell down. I did a gainer into the pavement. John said I fell so fast that he didn't even process that I was falling until I was already down. Thankfully I caught myself with my hands mostly and a little wiht my knee. I was so embarrassed that I was up almost instantly! It did kinda help that there werent but a handful of people around.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
That child doesn't have ADD......he has a case of BAD
Living with autism and having to go to public places can sometimes be a chore. It can sometimes be an adventure and sometimes it seems like a circus....Your very own little BIG TOP.....three rings.....wild animals running everywhere.....one announcer trying to keep or maintain control but everyone is watching the side show and not paying attention to the lil ole announcer, including the wild animals. I am assuming that I don't have to explain who's who in that scenario!
One day about a year ago, I had to take Crockett to the allergist and the Southaven office was closed so we had to go to the one off of Walnut Grove on Humphreys. I asked my mom to go with me so I didn't have to drive out there by myself AND so we could go shopping afterward since we would be so close to Saddle Creek. Well, this meant we would have Trey with us at the doctor but he was doing so much better with his anger and loud outburst and general meltdowns that I figured it would be fine.
We all walk into the allergist to find a big waiting room with a play area for children. We were very relieved to see both because we knew the play area would assist in helping entertain the boys and the waiting room being big would help cut down on my kids annoying other guests. Crockett and Trey migrated to the play area and my mother sat down to wait while I checked us in. While checking in, Trey quickly became bored with the "kitchen" play area and started trying to take a car from Crockett. When Crockett wouldn't give it up, Trey began screaming and having a meltdown. My mother ran to him and held him, calming him down. Everyone watched and no one said a word but when your child has a meltdown in public no one has to say a word.....you can read it in their expressions. When she let Trey go again, he ran straight for the door to the back of the offices and opened it, just to watch it shut. He did this one more time and I walked over and pulled him back to the play area to redirect his focus on something less distracting and less annoying to those around. At this point Crockett told me he had to go potty and since it was so new for him, I had to go immediately. Mom had charge of Trey while I took Crockett. I wasnt gone but for a minute and when I got back, mom was furious....she didnt start crying until I asked what was wrong and she continued snatching things up and pulled Trey by the arm out of the room.
Now, if you know my mom, you know that she is VERY non confrontational! She avoids confrontations like the plague! She had taken Trey out to my car to watch a movie so I called her to find out what happened while I waited. Apparently, while I was gone Trey was running around like a crazy man.....getting into things, opening doors and closing doors and just doing things that a recent 5 year old shouldnt do. It didn't help that he was WAY bigger than he should have been at that age because people always expected him to act older than he was.
Mom preceeded to tell me that the lady at the counter (who had already been very short with me form the beginning, pre Trey craziness) was watching trey and glairing at him every time he did ANYTHING. Mom finally had enough of it and let that lady have it! Mom told her that she didn't appreciate the way she was acting toward Trey and that God forbid she ever have a family member or someone she loves be diagnosed with Autism.
I was LIVID! I decided not to cause a scene because my mother had already spoken our peace and said enough AND the rest of the staff was very very kind and understanding. I didn't want to punish the rest of the people just to get to one lady. So I did the next best thing......I hand wrote a letter to the Office Manager. Instead of degrading that lady, I just explained what had happened and offered a solution to their problem. AWARENESS! I suggested that they print pamphlets or information sheets or even offer a class on dealing with developmentally delayed children or children living wtih Autism. I really didn't want this lady to lose her job but I did want her to understand that judging a situation and not knowing the entire context was unexcusable for anyone especially in a place of business.
A few weeks later at my doctor visit in the Southaven office, Dr. Treadwell told me that the problem had been addressed and that they were taking necessary steps to ensure tolerance and awareness was being taught to their manager.
My word of advice for the day is this: If you are out and there is a child having meltdown or if there is a family situation that you think looks like a discipline problem, PLEASE do not judge these people! There will be exceptions to this rule from time to time. However, it is still not your business. Next time you have that overwhelming urge to GLARE at someone who's child is throwing a fit in Target or maybe the urge to SLAP someones kid who is crying uncontrollably in Walmart or if you are thinking, "why doesn't that mother spank that child. All he needs is a good spanking", remember that walking a mile in someone elses shoes is sometimes harder than it looks! And if you don't believe me, I have a 6 year old with developmental delays that will give you the perspective that you need to NEVER.....EVER.....think that it's just a BAD child!
One day about a year ago, I had to take Crockett to the allergist and the Southaven office was closed so we had to go to the one off of Walnut Grove on Humphreys. I asked my mom to go with me so I didn't have to drive out there by myself AND so we could go shopping afterward since we would be so close to Saddle Creek. Well, this meant we would have Trey with us at the doctor but he was doing so much better with his anger and loud outburst and general meltdowns that I figured it would be fine.
We all walk into the allergist to find a big waiting room with a play area for children. We were very relieved to see both because we knew the play area would assist in helping entertain the boys and the waiting room being big would help cut down on my kids annoying other guests. Crockett and Trey migrated to the play area and my mother sat down to wait while I checked us in. While checking in, Trey quickly became bored with the "kitchen" play area and started trying to take a car from Crockett. When Crockett wouldn't give it up, Trey began screaming and having a meltdown. My mother ran to him and held him, calming him down. Everyone watched and no one said a word but when your child has a meltdown in public no one has to say a word.....you can read it in their expressions. When she let Trey go again, he ran straight for the door to the back of the offices and opened it, just to watch it shut. He did this one more time and I walked over and pulled him back to the play area to redirect his focus on something less distracting and less annoying to those around. At this point Crockett told me he had to go potty and since it was so new for him, I had to go immediately. Mom had charge of Trey while I took Crockett. I wasnt gone but for a minute and when I got back, mom was furious....she didnt start crying until I asked what was wrong and she continued snatching things up and pulled Trey by the arm out of the room.
Now, if you know my mom, you know that she is VERY non confrontational! She avoids confrontations like the plague! She had taken Trey out to my car to watch a movie so I called her to find out what happened while I waited. Apparently, while I was gone Trey was running around like a crazy man.....getting into things, opening doors and closing doors and just doing things that a recent 5 year old shouldnt do. It didn't help that he was WAY bigger than he should have been at that age because people always expected him to act older than he was.
Mom preceeded to tell me that the lady at the counter (who had already been very short with me form the beginning, pre Trey craziness) was watching trey and glairing at him every time he did ANYTHING. Mom finally had enough of it and let that lady have it! Mom told her that she didn't appreciate the way she was acting toward Trey and that God forbid she ever have a family member or someone she loves be diagnosed with Autism.
I was LIVID! I decided not to cause a scene because my mother had already spoken our peace and said enough AND the rest of the staff was very very kind and understanding. I didn't want to punish the rest of the people just to get to one lady. So I did the next best thing......I hand wrote a letter to the Office Manager. Instead of degrading that lady, I just explained what had happened and offered a solution to their problem. AWARENESS! I suggested that they print pamphlets or information sheets or even offer a class on dealing with developmentally delayed children or children living wtih Autism. I really didn't want this lady to lose her job but I did want her to understand that judging a situation and not knowing the entire context was unexcusable for anyone especially in a place of business.
A few weeks later at my doctor visit in the Southaven office, Dr. Treadwell told me that the problem had been addressed and that they were taking necessary steps to ensure tolerance and awareness was being taught to their manager.
My word of advice for the day is this: If you are out and there is a child having meltdown or if there is a family situation that you think looks like a discipline problem, PLEASE do not judge these people! There will be exceptions to this rule from time to time. However, it is still not your business. Next time you have that overwhelming urge to GLARE at someone who's child is throwing a fit in Target or maybe the urge to SLAP someones kid who is crying uncontrollably in Walmart or if you are thinking, "why doesn't that mother spank that child. All he needs is a good spanking", remember that walking a mile in someone elses shoes is sometimes harder than it looks! And if you don't believe me, I have a 6 year old with developmental delays that will give you the perspective that you need to NEVER.....EVER.....think that it's just a BAD child!
Monday, February 1, 2010
A follow up.....
Here is the follow up to the potty training story. I think you all will appreciate this.
On Fridays Trey has SNAAP (see previous blog regarding SNAAP) at the YMCA in Olive Branch. We usually go see John at work and take him a Sonic drink to kill a few minutes before we go to the Y since his office is just two seconds away from the Y.
One day we had stopped in and it was at a time when Trey was just starting to really want independence and he said he wanted to go play on the playground (it's just right across the hall from John's office). I agreed to let him go and he insisted that I stay in daddy's office while he went to play. While John and I were talking I got this feeling down deep in my gut. I don't know if any of you have ever had "that feeling" down deep but when you're a momma, you know something is about to shake down. I got up from my seat while John was mid sentence and walked out of his office, peering into the play area as I walked out. Trey was not playing in the normal place he usually did so I walked closer. He wasn't in the play area at all. I figured that he must have had to go potty and that was where he went. I turn to make my way to the bathroom and I hear someone say, "JOHN, I think your boy needs help." As I look up I see Trey waddling down the hall with his pants down around his ankles saying "wipe my bottom, mommy." I just about flipped OUT! I was SO embarassed. John was mortified and just about forbid me to let Trey go anywhere in his place of business alone again.
I can look back on this situation and laugh and laugh now but I promise you, at the time, it was not so funny! Kids DO the darndest things!
On Fridays Trey has SNAAP (see previous blog regarding SNAAP) at the YMCA in Olive Branch. We usually go see John at work and take him a Sonic drink to kill a few minutes before we go to the Y since his office is just two seconds away from the Y.
One day we had stopped in and it was at a time when Trey was just starting to really want independence and he said he wanted to go play on the playground (it's just right across the hall from John's office). I agreed to let him go and he insisted that I stay in daddy's office while he went to play. While John and I were talking I got this feeling down deep in my gut. I don't know if any of you have ever had "that feeling" down deep but when you're a momma, you know something is about to shake down. I got up from my seat while John was mid sentence and walked out of his office, peering into the play area as I walked out. Trey was not playing in the normal place he usually did so I walked closer. He wasn't in the play area at all. I figured that he must have had to go potty and that was where he went. I turn to make my way to the bathroom and I hear someone say, "JOHN, I think your boy needs help." As I look up I see Trey waddling down the hall with his pants down around his ankles saying "wipe my bottom, mommy." I just about flipped OUT! I was SO embarassed. John was mortified and just about forbid me to let Trey go anywhere in his place of business alone again.
I can look back on this situation and laugh and laugh now but I promise you, at the time, it was not so funny! Kids DO the darndest things!
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