Internet Courage

Hey everyone! This blog might be one to step on toes.......mainly mine......but I wanted to get this out there so everyone can examine themselves and their facebook style, if you will.


I have been on facebook for several years now. Prior to that, I was on myspace for several years and all these sites are the same. They give people the satisfaction of reconnecting with family and friends that they haven't seen in a while. They give an outlet to talk about frusterations and to joys and to share what's going on in their life. They give people a really really cool way to keep friends and family informed and to update them with pictures, stories and such. And it's really easy too! Anyone can do it, wether you are a 10 year old or a 90 year old, you can learn facebook!


I have always loved facebook and the social internet sites. They have always been a fun way to express myself without having to think. I am sure most of you understand where I am coming from. The popularity of these social sites can't just be to reconnect. There must be others that agree with me about not having to think about things or be deep when on facebook. It's like sitting around with your group of friends and talking......but without the feeling that you need to entertain and without the awkward silences. (Although I can't tell you the last time I had an awkward silence in a group of my friends. LOL!)


But there has been a growing trend on facebook and I have heard it called INTERNET COURAGE.


How many times have we done this? You are sitting at your computer and you are trying to figure out what to post as your status. Not really thinking about the implications that can come with your post, you say something like, "The KJV Bible is the ONLY Bible." or "Poor Michael Vick......he shouldn't have gotten so much prison time. It's not like he hurt a person." or "this team totally didn't deserve that win"...............anway, you get the picture. Many times we don't mean them the way they sound. Many times we do. And yet other times we just don't think before we speak.


Next is the commenting on other peoples statuses or posts. How many times have you done THIS? You are reading the statuses of other folks or the comments on other folks statuses and you see something that you don't like or that just doesn't sit well with you. It could be for many reasons.....it could be someone used a derogatory term in their status and that is something that you are passionate about. Or maybe someone said something about President Obama and his liberal views or praised him for something and it infuriated you. Or someone commented on someone elses status and was poking at you or a loved one and you just broke. There are sooo many scenarios. I'll use the same examples as I did above.

BAD EXAMPLE #1:
Bobs Status: The KJV Bible is the ONLY Bible.
comments:
Jim-I don't know if I would go THAT far.
Bob- I definitely would go THAT far and you are STUPID if you think otherwise.
Jessica-WOW.....that was a bit harsh, Bob, don't you think?
Jim-Well, Jessica, consider the source. Bob has very little education and really doesn't even go to church so they probably don't read their Bible anyway.

BAD EXAMPLE #2:
Chris' Status: Poor Michael Vick......he shouldn't have gotten so much prison time. It's not like he hurt a person.
Comments:
Betty-He totally deserved that much prison time.......probably more!!
Chris-Whatever! Although I hate that he was inhumane to animals, they still aren't people and they have no souls and I think that someone who hurts an animal shouldn't get more time than someone that hurts another human being.
***this one would go on for about 80 million comments and believe me, I know!***

I could go on and on with examples but you get the picture. Is it really worth it to cause tension and strife between friends just so you can speak your mind? Maybe those posts could have read like this........

GOOD EXAMPLE #1
Bobs Status: I think that the KJV Bible is the best Bible translation.
Jim-I don't really agree with that. Why do you think that?
Bob gives his reason for saying that and they carry on a civilized conversation. They don't bring up liberal vs. conservative views. They don't talk about education levels. They don't call each other names or seek to anger the other person. The discussion can get heated but the more mature adult should know when to back off and agree to disagree!

The other problem with controversial statuses and updates is that sometimes when you say something, you are joking but tone of voice is impossible to know if you are typing or reading something. I know from experience, even putting LOL or a :0) isn't always gonna tell the other person that you are joking or aren't picking on them. You have to SAY that you were kidding and gauge wether you think that other person is going to be easily offended. It's such a fine line to know when and what to comment that sometimes it's just not worth it. The best thing to do if you have to think that hard about it is probably not to do it at all!

Here is my advice:
When writing a status.....think about it. Use your brain. Will this offend someone? Could this be something that might cause an adverse reaction? Can I handle someone acting adversely to my status and respond with dignity and grace, if they do?

When commenting on a status........think about it. Use your noodle. Do NOT act on impulse!! Will this offend someone? Could I hurt someone? Will I regret saying this right after I post it? Will I be embarrassed to see the person that I am commenting to again because of my reaction?

I know of many times, myself, that I have responded to something someone said and they took it completely the wrong way and blasted me for it! I also know of many times that I have posted or commented on something in a negative way and did it cause I wasn't doing it in person. My INTERNET COURAGE got the best of me. I was hiding behind my computer screen and said things that I NEVER would have said had I been speaking in person. When you do post based on your feeling you are either: a.) a hothead who speaks their mind no matter wether it is in person or not. Or b.) you WISH you had the guts to speak your mind in person but you don't like confrontation so you choose to do it via the internet where you can say what you want without the guilt afterwards of hurting someone's feelings.

I'm not saying that a little healthy discussion is wrong. There have been plenty of "heated" discussion that became learning experiences for me and for the person I was talking to because both of us came in with open minds and not to offend, but to educate each other on how we felt. Neither of us called each other names or degraded each other in any way. We also didn't see eye to eye even in the end but I know it made me feel validated to be able to discuss, like a rational adult, the way I felt about something.

And lastly, forgive and ask for forgiveness! If you have offended someone or think you have offended someone in any way, go to them (wether it be via phone, text, face to face or email) and ask them to forgive you. Swallow your pride and do this! If you are anything like me, which I am sure some of you are, it will eat away at you until you do so. AND when someone comes to you to ask for forgiveness, FORGIVE THEM! Who are we to hold them to a higher standard than our God holds us to? When we ask for forgiveness from our God, it is as far as the east is from the west!!

A few bible verses to remember when playing on facebook:

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Pr. 15:1)
A hot tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel (Pr. 15:18).
When a man's ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him (Pr. 16:7).
Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out (Pr. 17:14).
It is to a man's honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel (Pr. 20:3)
Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful (2 Tim. 2:23-24).
All of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble (1 Pet. 3:8).
A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue (Pr. 11:12).
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves (Rom. 12:10).
Show proper respect to everyone; Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king ( 1 Pet. 2:17).
He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity (Pr. 21:23).
But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken (Mt. 12:36).
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you (Col. 3:13).
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Eph. 4:32).

LOVE YOU ALL!
JEANINE :0)