As I was driving to work the other day, I was thinking about potty training. This is a very touchy subject for a lot of parents out there and I would like to throw my two cents into the mix. If you don't like reading about potty training or poop and peepee...then don't read the following story! ;0)
Do all children learn at the same pace? Are all children alike? If you FORCE a child to do something, does it help them or hinder them? These are age old questions that can be asked about many things but I am asking today regarding potty training. The following story is MY story of potty training two different children and two different ways.
My boys were different ages when they were potty trained. Trey was 5 when he was completely potty trained. Of course his developmental delays played a huge part of his delay in training.
When Trey was 3 we began trying to get him on the potty but he would not have it. I stopped trying because it was around the time that he was diagnosed with DD and Crockett was diagnosed with Allergies and Asthma and I had too much on my plate. He finally began showing signs of readiness by staying dry for hours at a time, hiding when he was going, wanting to change his pull up immediately after going in it......you know, the basic signs of readiness. BUT I could not catch him to get him to potty before he did it in his pull up. So I have decided, PULL UPS ARE FROM THE DEVIL!! All it is is a diaper with less absorption. So you have to change it more often......they are good for night time diapers but HORRIBLE for toilet training!
So anyway, around 4 and a half, I decided one Saturday to try the "Shoot the Cheerios" game in the potty. We stayed at home all day and I rearranged my plans that day so we could focus ONLY on potty training. That day he finally got it and would shoot pee pee at the cheerios that were floating in the potty. He did this for about two weeks before he finally didn't need them anymore and hasn't worn a diaper during the day since. We still had problems getting him to poo poo on the potty. He would hold it and hold it and would cry because it hurt him to go cause he had waited so long to go. This happens to children with disabilities and special needs a lot because their diet isn't what it should be. The dietary issues are usually due to not liking certain textures or some other kind of oral issue. Trey's was because all he ever wanted or would eat was chicken nuggets. Trey would go for a week at a time sometimes without a bowel movement. He would get sick and throw up because he would not go to the bathroom. We tried adding Benefiber and other fiber supplements to his meals and that didn't work. We tried using laxatives, they didn't work. So finally we had to start using enemas when he hadn't gone for 4-5 days. We only had to use them two or three times before Trey finally made the decision to go on his own rather than get an enema. He hasn't had a problem with it since then! :0)
Crockett, Crockett, Crockett........he has been a much easier trainer. Obviously, you see from my early entry that he has always been interested in the potty. We started trying with him right after he turned 3. He would do it sporadically but never with any consistency. I would try underwear and he would wet them while he was playing (only minutes after taking him) and then he would take them off and hide them so I wouldn't know he had wet them. (still trying to figure out why he thought I wouldn't notice he was naked? hehehe) So I kinda put the whole potty training on the back burner until around the middle of summer. He did pretty good and would go when I asked him if he needed to but he really wouldn't tell me he needed too and if it meant getting up from playing, he would rather wet his pants than do that. We finally got to where I would just carry his entire wardrobe (it seemed) in his backpack and just change his pants if he wet them. Some days he would do great and not have ANY accidents and other times he would go crazy and have five or six accidents. I knew that if he wasn't potty trained that it would be embarrassing to put him in a MDO program and I NEEDED my me time. I considered him completely pee pee potty trained around July or so. However, here comes the hard part. I could not get him to poo poo on the potty for anything. We would put him on the potty before bed because his natural tendency was to go in his pull up at night time. He would sit there for 20 minutes, yelling, screaming, acting the fool until it was getting so late that we had to let him get up. We would put his pull up on, put him in bed and when I would go in to turn off his tv, I could smell his fragrant present! UGH! I didn't know what to do. I couldn't FORCE him to go. So I didn't. He very rarely had poo poo accidents ever cause he had an uncanny ability to hold it til night time. We would catch him every so often and be able to get him to go cause there was no way possible he could hold it any longer.
Finally, a few weeks ago when we were in Gatlinburg, I was with him ALL the time. 24 hours a day, the entire time we were there. I knew his signs that he had to go. The waddley walk, the scared bug eyed solemn stare that he would give cause he was concentrating to hold it in and when I would ask him if he need to go potty and he would immediately and with much force reply "NO!" gave him away EVERY time. You see, the good thing about having boys is that daddy has to take them potty when you are out somewhere so every time I would see the tell tale signs that he needed to, I would tell John and he would take him to the bathroom. EVERY TIME, John would be stern with him and sometimes threaten him to go and every time he would! It was really quite amazing. By the time we got home from our trip, Crockett would tell us when he needed to go poo poo and we haven't had any trouble since!
My theory is that if you can not spend all day, everyday with your child then your commitment to getting them potty trained will have to wait until you can have that time available. Like my opinion or not, but we all live in a world that's GO GO GO and I am of the belief that the reason children are 4, 5 and 6 being potty trained is because parents like me and you are so busy and have so many things pulling us in so many directions that we can't or don't want to take the time to do the things that NEED to be done. Like watching our children for signs of readiness and acting on it instead of putting it off, putting it off. It's not gonna just magically happen, we have to be steadfast and ready when the first signs come up. There are the exceptions, like Trey, who might have delays that keep them from learning at a quick pace but those are few and far between.
What you should learn from this blog:
1. NO PULL UPS. They only hinder the potty training unless you use them at night only to keep them from wetting the bed.
2. Forcing your child to potty train when it's convenient for YOU isn't going to be successful. You must be willing to take time with your child and rearrange your schedule to do so.
3. If you are a woman that has girls, I am so sorry that you have to take your children to the bathroom all the time. If you are a woman with boys........LIVE IT UP and MAKE your husband do it now cause one day you might have granddaughters! LOL!
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